More Mary, Less Martha

A More Mary, Less Martha Thanksgiving  by Dawn Camp

“Enter into His gates with thanksgiving…” Psalm 100:4 

The memory of last year’s faild turkey spatchcocking experiment remains vivid in my mind.

Although I’ve flipped the calendar page twelve times, it’s hardly enough to forget that big bird, which remained uncooked when our guests arrived, and that leaky pan, which dribbled into the bottom of the oven.

A cloud of smoke filled the air as the juices burned off and the smoke detectors blared until we unplugged them.

By the time that stubborn turkey cooked, everything else was cold. My new dressing recipe contained bacon, but three of our guests were eating Kosher. Mark me 0 for 2 on crucial elements of the traditional holiday feast.

It’s hard to redeem Thanksgiving dinner when you’ve ruined the turkey and dressing.

If I had to use one word to describe Thanksgiving 2014 in my kitchen, it would be FAIL. Make that EPIC FAIL.

So maybe it’s no surprise I tried to book a friend’s mountain cabin for Thanksgiving weekend this year. I thought a change of scenery would charm my kids and keep them from noticing the absence of turkey and dressing (which they don’t like much anyway) and the rest of the family would understand why I ran away after last year’s fiasco.

I once heard an episode of a radio program called the Dream Doctor where a caller asked the host to analyze that dreadful dream where you walk into a classroom only to discover it’s exam day and you haven’t studied.  (Have you had it too?)

I almost pulled off the road rather than risk driving out of the station’s range during the commercial break. Both my mother and I were occasionally plagued by this frustrating dream — sometimes the student; sometimes the teacher; always unprepared — even though we’d been out of school for years.

The host returned with a logical explanation, one I’d never considered: those dreams, he said, have nothing to do with school, but everything to do with the feeling of being tested. Something in your life feels like a test and you feel unprepared, afraid of failing.

The next time I dreamed that dream was just before the first time we hosted our family’s Thanksgiving meal. It made sense — my fear of bungling the turkey and dressing was like walking into a classroom unprepared to take my finals.

Unfortunately, my plan to escape to the mountains for Thanksgiving didn’t work; someone booked the cabin before me.

Since I’ll have to face both the music and the turkey, I’m thinking of ways to experience more thankfulness and less stress. If you’re an anxious holiday host, I hope these thoughts help you too:

• Don’t experiment with new cooking methods or recipes on crucial dishes unless you have a backup plan.
• Delegate, delegate, delegate: ask other guests to bring bread, sides, or desserts.
• More Mary, less Martha: spend more time enjoying your guests and less time cleaning; use paper plates!
• Let your guests help you set the table and get the food ready to serve; they’re thankful you’ve opened your home and want to assist you.
• Enjoy the people you’re with; you probably don’t see enough of them.
• Thanksgiving is about being thankful; make it the focus of your holiday.