A Little 'Elder Humor' to Start Your Day

As I get older, I realize:

 

    #1  -  I talk to myself, because there are times I need expert advice.

 

    #2  -  I consider "In Style" to be the clothes that still fit.

 

    #3  -  I don't need anger management.  I need people to stop pissing me off.

 

    #4  -  My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance for idiots that needs work.
 

    #5  -  The biggest lie I tell myself is, "I don't need to write that down.  I'll remember it."

 

    #6  -  I have days when my life is just a tent away from a circus.

 

    #7  -  These days, "on time" is when I get there.

 

    #8  -  Even duct tape can't fix stupid - but it sure does muffle the sound.

 

    #9  -  Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?

 

    #10  -  Lately, I've noticed people my age are so much older than me.

 

    #11  -  "Getting lucky" means walking into  a room and remembering why I'm there.

 

    #12  -  When I was a child, I thought nap time was punishment.  Now it feels like a mini vacation.

 

    #13  -  Some days I have no idea what I'm doing out of bed.

 

    #14  -  I thought growing old would take longer.

 

    #15  -  Aging sure has slowed me down, but it hasn't shut me up.

 

    #16  -  I still haven't learned to act my age and doubt I’ll live that long.