When a Loved One Goes Home

WHEN A LOVED ONE GOES HOME by J.M.D.H. 

"We do not mourn like those who have no hope."

I Thessalonians 4:13 

His faith journey has brought me closer to the Lord. And for that, I will forever be grateful to my friend.

As a child, my family lived overseas and had only infrequent opportunities to travel back to the United States for visits. We lived in a country where there are no churches (we met for worship in secret, in the homes of faithful, brave Believers). As a child then, I was able to attend a church only when we came back to the US for visits. It was at this church -- this was the only “home church” I ever really knew until we moved back to the States permanently. And that meant that I attended Sunday School -- just downstairs -- and worshiped here with our extended family members, to include my beloved friend. You could say, then, that this is where both of our faith journeys began. 

He and I are separated in age by only a handful of months (I won’t say who is older). And because of the closeness in age between my brother, my friend, his sister and me, when we did return home on those rare visits, the four of us were often playmates … though, as his sister and I can both recall, the boys often picked on us, and made mischief. But those summer vacations and time spent back here in Beaver Falls were times of delight There were trips to Brady’s Run creek, big Italian Sunday meals at Grandma and Grandpap’s house, watching the Steelers together, trips to amusement parks, visits to their house to play in the pool or ride motorbikes and quads, playing in the vacant lot next to the Stop-N-Go, trips to the neighborhood playground.

In those early years, my childhood memories of my friend range from the times where we were great friends to the times when he teased me mercilessly! He has always had a sharp wit and a quick and ready joke, but he could also be tender and caring. He, like all of us, was more than one thing.  

As our youth grew into young-adulthood, our paths diverged -- summers were no longer spent in Beaver Falls. Our times together were confined to holidays, weddings and funerals. During these years, we didn’t do a great job keeping up with one another. But, whenever we were reunited, we jumped right back into our old friendship, forged all those years ago by faithful parents who made godly friendships and our faith a priority.

In those years, I heard stories about some of the challenges and struggles my precious friend faced. You know, if we’re honest, beneath the surface, we’re all a mess; we all have deep rooted challenges and struggles; some of us do a spectacular job of concealing that mess and covering everything over so that no one knows how intense the battle that is being waged for our soul.

But some choose not to, or they aren’t able to conceal the battle. And it makes me wonder, who’s more authentic? Who has more integrity? Who’s more honest? If you’re like me, you work hard to make sure that folks who meet you see the person you want to project, the person you wish you could be.

I did that with my friend. I knew far more about his struggles than he ever knew about mine. And in that sense, I could have been an inhibitor to his faith.

You see, when we conceal the inner struggle, and never allow anyone to know what our battles look like, it’s easy for others to think, “Well, I bet it’s easy for that person to be a Christian.” “I bet it’s easy for God to love that person.” “I bet it’s easy for God to forgive that person.” “That person belongs in church; he doesn’t suffer, struggle, or fail.” When we conceal the battles, we perpetuate the lie that grace, love and forgiveness are only for the “good ones”, for the ones who never get it wrong.

My friend, though -- his faith, as I said earlier, his journey has brought me closer to the Lord. Why? It’s because we were able to see the battle being fought over his soul. 

You know, there’s never been a war waged over a worthless, useless piece of land. The battle we all saw in him is evidence of just how valuable he was to our Lord. Satan was terrified of what that young man could do for the Kingdom, and Jesus was fully aware of his potential. What we all had the privilege of seeing through him was Christ’s commitment and faithfulness -- and the lengths to which our God will go to track us down and never let us go. Through his faith journey, I became “confident of this, that He who began a good work in him would bring it to completion…” That’s a verse from Philippians chapter one.

That’s a promise God makes to all of us.

Charles Spurgeon said, “God’s promises were never meant to be thrown aside like wastepaper; He intended that they should be used. … Nothing pleases our LORD better than to see His promises put into circulation; He loves to see His children bring them up to Him and say, “Lord do as you have said.”

Through his life, I was able to see God’s promise of faithfulness worked out. His faith journey showed all of us that when God begins a good work in us, He will be faithful to bring it to completion. His life proves the Gospel is true -- not because he became perfect or that he never failed again; not because the battle was over or because it was easy. But BECAUSE it was hard, we saw the mighty God of all Creation take notice of one man here on this pale blue dot in the middle of the universe and decide that he was valuable.    

Here’s what I know about my precious friend -- and many of you might not know this. In April of this past year, my mother -- contracted Covid. She was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia as well. There were many days when her future was uncertain to us (though her future was not unknown to God.) But there were a few days while she was at the hospital when we honestly didn’t know if she was going to make it.

I reached out to my friend and his Christian family and asked them to start to pray. And, very gratefully, they did, and from that day forward, my friend reached out to me EVERY SINGLE day praying with me, encouraging me, letting me know that he was praying. Every single day--he was a prayer warrior for my mom. 

In the end, his life was the blessing to my entire family. My mom is sitting here today, in part because he carried her needs before the Throne of Grace. And we all know from James 5:6 that “the effectual fervent prayers of the righteous man avail much”.

God used my beloved friend mightily because he had surrendered himself to the call of Christ. And the Lord was faithful.

I’d like to share the last verse of the song, In Christ Alone:

No guilt in life, no fear in death

This is the power of Christ in me

From life's first cry to final breath

Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man

Can ever pluck me from His hand

Till He returns or calls me home

Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

All praise King Jesus. Glory to God forever.