Tact

January 31

Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves. Abraham Lincoln

By this definition, one could almost accuse America's greatest president of being a great liar, for often the way people see themselves is anything but the reality of who they are. By aligning ourselves with their erroneous perception, we make ourselves complicit in their self-deception. Yet, there is another aspect of the approach advocated by President Lincoln that makes his viewpoint quite appealing and it is rooted in the old adage that admonishes us to 'pick our battles.'

When we consider that our nation was enmeshed in a great Civil War during President Lincoln's tenure in office, that more Americans were slain during that war than in any other conflict, when the threat loomed that the union would never be restored, we would have to acquiesce to the idea that were Lincoln to concern himself about such petty notions as men's perceptions of themselves, he would have been negligent to his greater calling of restoring the nation and ridding it of the great scourge of slavery.

So we weigh his definition of tact on a more finely-tuned scale in order to grasp the truth it conveys, and we realize that each of us will, at one time or another in our lives, be confronted with the necessity of doing the same thing--we, too, must learn to pick our battles. We, too, must choose our words carefully, knowing as Jesus said, “Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks,” Matthew 12:34. We will not want to provoke anger in a friend or in an adversary or in our children (Ephesians 6:4, Colossians 3:21), and we will understand that if we hold good for them in our hearts, our words regarding them will be tactful and kind.

We must promise ourselves to apply the Biblical admonition that approximates President Lincoln's recommendation, "A soft answer turns away wrath," Proverbs 15:1, for when we have spoken softly to an opponent and given place to his perception of his point of view (as Lincoln said, to describe him as he sees himself), we will have deflected the arrows of the enemy of our souls who wants nothing more than to use any and all things—even words—as weapons that we hurl at one another.

When we have extended to an adversary the respect and regard that he perceives to be his due, we have not so much been duplicitous as we have been tactful. We have not been manipulators of words as much as we have been transformers of words from weapons of destruction to instruments of peace. The questions we must ask ourselves are, ‘Is Jesus glorified by my words? Is Jesus lifted up by my concession to my opponent? Will Jesus be able to use my kind descriptions of others to effect the good in His heart?